Paris: Drunken realisations from a night out

 

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Eiffel Tower at night. Paris

Here are some thoughts I had whilst making my way home in the early hours of the morning after a night out in Paris:

Bottles of wine that cost less than 5€ a piece from any shop in Paris are almost always a winner.

2 of said bottles will put you in a near-to-perfect state (if you are a 6’4”, 70kg male or a hardcore female boozer)

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The walk from Republique to Chatelet is the exact amount of time that it takes to eat a “Sandwich Grec” (Kebab and Chips) given that you fit the specifications above.

Walking through Paris at 3.30 in the morning feels incredibly safe despite the terrorist attacks of November 13th.

Taking a Velib (Paris city bikes) is the cheapest and most effective means of getting home once the metro has closed.

Cycling home on a Velib immediately after a kebab, 2 bottles of cheap wine and whilst suffering from the hiccups is a brutal experience all round.

No Matter what state you are in, whilst taking a 4am walk/cycle through Paris you are GUARANTEED to see someone in a worse state than you.

A cigarette is the perfect way to end the night before entering your building.

If you have suffered/enjoyed all of the above without a single regret then there was almost certainly something worth staying out for.

If you can complete all of the above and sneak back into your apartment without waking up your coloc (flatmate), your neighbours or their dog, then you have made it in life. Welcome to La Belle Vie à Paris.

Ps. Whilst the last two steps are probably true, I cannot guarantee that the feeling you experience the following morning will make it all worth it… but until you’ve experienced all of the above you will never know!

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